Unknown & Unwritten Story

Friday, April 18, 2008

Hey guys,

I've created a new blog dedicated to my photography.

I'll upload new pictures often so do check it out.

Here's the link My Stills, Your Story

Thanks

Labels: News

i died.
8:50 pm

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I'm beginning to feel really hopeless now.

Almost all the polytechnics i've appealed to, have already replied, And the answer is either "NO" or "we're full".
-Singapore Poly, REJECT (we're full)
-Temasek Poly, REJECT (we're full)
-NanYang Poly, REJECT (we're full)

At least NanYang Poly offered a course that i suppose all the rejects will eventually end up in.
I am saying this because my fellow classmate who got rejected from different poly also ended up in this course.

I just wonder, is it true that ITE students will only be given those unwanted or unpopular courses???
It's so godamn unfair.
And i believe that ITE students works equally as hard as "O" levels students, And i can't find any reason for me to accept such treatment.

My very last hope is NAFA. I seriously hope that NAFA will accept me into it's institution.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and i am praying very hard.

Labels: FUCKING LIFE, life is evil, me, people, problems, school, shits, sorrows, stress

i died.
8:18 pm

Friday, April 11, 2008

I desperately need a place to study and further my education. I can't possibly survive with an ITE cert in the future.
But i keep getting rejected despite trying so hard to secure a place in Government Polytechnics.
It has come to a point where i am beginning to hate government schools because of their strict and stupid standards they have with regards to enrolling students into their college.

Every damn thing was done online step by step.
The JPAE application which was meant for ITE students "ONLY"
When the results were out, the only reply i received was "UNSUCCESSFUL".
I tried to call up the respective poly and i can never find a way to speak to a real human,
the entire call was answered by a fucking "ROBOT" and i hate them to the core.
I was like what the FUCK??? They didn't give me a godamn reason why i am rejected.
I had 5 choices of different courses but none of them was accepted from all the poly.
I simply do not understand what the hell is going on.
I can't accept all these because my results are good enough for me to enter poly and you can't expect me to return to ITE and continue Higher Nitec and then progress to poly from there.
My question is what if i get rejected again???

Why do people like me who's willing to work hard and desperately trying to fight for a place to study gets rejected over and over again?

Despite all these, i applied for NAFA to pursue the course Dip in Visual Communications.
To get into this course i had to take an entry exam which consists of 2 drawing tests and 1 english test.
I did the tests yesterday in the morning.
I'm not very confident in passing the entry exam because the course i am applying for has high standards for their enrolling.
So i wouldn't be surprised if i get rejected by NAFA.
But i'm keeping my fingers crossed hoping that everything will be fine.

I get very irritated and angry whenever i hear a poly student who wishes to quit school or give up after they had studied for a year or two.
I simply hate them and i feel like slapping them right in their face.
I won't deny the fact that i'm jealous of those students, But hey what the Fuck is wrong with them???
don't they cherish the opportunity they have???
I am desperately searching for a place to study but i can't find one and yet those people who has a place do not cherish it.

I went to Singapore Poly after my entry exam at NAFA to submit a letter of appeal.
i walked passed hundreds and hundreds of students wearing the same SP T-Shirt ( i guessed it's their orientation for freshmen)
At that very moment i felt jealousy burning within me.
I kept asking myself why am i not wearing the T-Shirt they are all wearing??? and why am i not with them???
They all gave me a "WHAT THE FUCK" kind of look when i entered the school premises which irritated me and i actually stared at one idiot all the way until i exit the school.

I bumped into a poly lecturer i met over at Temasek Poly and we chat for a while.
He asked why i was at SP for, and i told him that i was submitting a letter of appeal.
He gave me a lot of encouragement and told me not to give up, he even gave me his opinions regarding what i should do if i really fail to get into any Polytechnic and which private institute i should or should not apply for which i find really helpful to me.

He was really caring and it kind of brightened my day after talking to him.

This is what i really feel at this point of time & i hope that things will change for the better tomorrow.

Labels: FUCKING LIFE, life is evil, me, people, problems, school, sorrows, stress

i died.
6:00 pm

Sunday, April 06, 2008

I have a chest full of sorrows that i think i need to spell it out for myself.
I need to be myself, but i can't.
There isn't anyone whom i can talk to or express my feelings to, Someone who truly understands what i mean and feel.

I feel so small...

I don't know what to say or think after hearing what others have said about me.

I feel so small...

I hate to betray myself, but i feel that i am doing so.
Why am i forcing myself to accept certain things in my life that i know i would never accept at all??? Why?
Is it the people around me? Way i think? What others say?

Why am i not like any other ordinary guy out there, who's accepted and welcomed by others???
Perhaps that isn't the kind of guy i want to be like.

All i know is that i need and i want to be who i really am.

i've had enough of all these sorrows i have in me.

Labels: FUCKING LIFE, life is evil, me, problems, shits, sick, sorrows, stress

i died.
7:01 pm